Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
