Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
