She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
