Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
