Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
