what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
