Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
it's like iHOP with fire
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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