We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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