i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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