I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
