What a fucking waste of an outfit
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
