Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
