We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Randomize
