Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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