No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Everclear isn't food dammit
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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