Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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