SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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