My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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