Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize