I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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