Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
