you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
