dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
