Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
