Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
