I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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