Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
