I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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