i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
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