gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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