You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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