.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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