he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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