She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
