I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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