I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
