I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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