i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize