4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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