We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
If I die, sorry about rent.
Randomize
