I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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