I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
