Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
