i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
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