i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
