hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize