That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
