any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I need water and some morals
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
