When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
