He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Please, let me fuck your mom
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
