i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
