Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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