my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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