I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
