party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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