This dress was meant to end up on your floor
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Two words: blizzard sex
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize