I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
