If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
