Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Randomize
