i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
