escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
