if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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