Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize