he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
