this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
