i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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