pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
