I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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