Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
