Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize