Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize