i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Walk of Shame today included voting.
It's never too late to be topless.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Randomize